131109

today got pe lesson @ 8-9am....then ii waited for felicia @ srgn & saw weekiat...then reach sch around 8.25am...lols...late...but nbm...lols...then run 3 rounds round the hall & played captain's ball...ii dun really like to play captain's ball sia...dun feel like getting involved in it...so boring sia...but ii tried to played, actually it was quite fun though...but still ii dun quite like...

then after sch, went to watch movie with felicia & weekiat ---> watch the Paranormal Activity...we decided since wed, thought of going on thurs because of the long break...then weekiat cant, so we move it to fri...during break time, that roy say until it was so nice & scary sia...what 1st part-boring, 2nd part-scary, 3rd part-very scary & gave a rating of 7/10...

end up my rating was only 0.5/10...but ii knw it was based on a true real life story, so it was quite scary for them lerhs...but ii can say, ii nearly fall aslp when ii was watching...diao...

1111o9-1211o9

daily routine of schooling, then wed nyte struggling with project, last min chiong sia...find research, then ytd find videos, then discussion with our members in msn...kept dc, make me so frustrated sia...somemore impt discussion...

then thursday we were needed to go to simei ite for a career fair, saw a lot of job scope & then knw more about them...then applied for a sentosa admission host part time job...gt to go for a group interview...scary sia...somemore she asked me questions first out of so many ppl...

then ask bout my job history, what ii did...then how ii deal with different types of customer...then go on to another person...after that, she say that she will hand it to the management & see if ii will be hired, & inform me by 15/11/09...ii wanted to have different job experience, so really hope to get in...

around 1 plus left simei ite, dun knw where to go before our HR briefing @ 4pm...so long hours of break...we decided to walk to Sg EXPO to shop @ Robinsons expo fair...lol...thinking of going to look for my colleague, but they were nt there, then saw ah KEN over there...then chat a while & went off...biught my concealer & some tidbits = $13.20 in total...lols...

reach Little India @ 3.50pm, walk to The Verge for the briefing...then a lot of latecomers, so meeting start @ around 4.20pm...the ED of the company speaks & then ask those leader's to speak out their grp names all that...then ii was like so WTF luhhs...speak in the middle of the room, then all the attention was on me...then ii was damn nervous, he asked me my grp name, then ii was too nervous to pronounce clearly...v funny luhhs...a lot of ppl laugh sia...so embarrassed...then ask me how our grp gets together as a team, ii said fate, all laugh again...

omgoodness...ii was so paisei this time...bth liaos...then sat dwn & proceed to another grp for their turn to intro themself...then end at 5.40pm...rush to meet mumy @ Chinatown, she need to change & buy clothing for my younger brother...so shop @ OG buy shoes, @ market buy clothings, @ street eat dinner...

we went hm & bath, then go to find videos for project...then dc!!!then ii went to slp after countless tries & just when ii doze off, around 0050, sun called me & ii woke up & chat a while to around 0145, ii end up can't slp, think around 0230 then slept...all because of UU!!! lols...

1o11o9

in the morning, at around 12+am, there is a cockcroach in my room crawling right over my toe, omg, when ii saw it, ii was like so wtf, why are uu here, scare me damn lots sia, heart thumping like 100+...the cockcroach is like so big, damn scary can a not, then ii went out, saaw my daddy in kitchen, asked him to help me catch cockcroach, then he was so slow, by the time he came in, the cockcroach went hiding, sad...ii was living in fear...omg, kept seeing where it is...

then ii went to toilet & come back, ii saw it again, ii panic & was frantic, then ii quickly run to the kitchen to get a plastic bag & catch the cockcroach myself...think my heart beat was 200+ barhs...LOLS!!! then researching on a virus thingy...scare me till death, then can't slp well...hais...

morning around 7+am, ii was so fickle-minded, whether ii should go to see doc bout the thing or went to sch, no time to tell mummy, so went to SK polyclinic to see doc...frm 7.53am to 10.11am then end...then doc referred me to hospital for treatment, hais...so scary, she doesn't even ask me whether ii am ok, maybe is polyclinic dun have that type of medicine, so need to go to hospital...

then went to the referral room, she asked me about the appt thing, then they fax over it & called me to tell me when & where ii should go for appointment, it was on 30 Nov, 9.40am...sians diao...my mummy burthday lehs...sadded!!!

then thinking of going to sch for lesson, but the most impt lesson that ii wanna go was AOA around 3pm start, then ii end at 10.11am, then go sch for PR lesson like very funny, so never go as ii reach will be around 11pm...then lesson would end in around 30mins...so weird...then decide not to go since ii have got bad news...hais...

met mummy to eat, actually dun felt like eating, but she forced me to eat...sad...no choice but to eat lorhs...told mummy the bad news, then she say ii never tell her before ii go see doc, then she is ok with it lerhs...then went to market, hougang mall & then go home...

used com for a while, then felt slpy, so have a afternoon nap around 3+, 4pm till 7pm woke up, tonight can't slp lerhs...good luck to me liaos...

o911o9

today is the 1st day of my new life w/o him, though its a little bit blank, but then still can make it for my day...8am reach sch, then start lesson, AOA teach mail merging...then told us that there will be a test ltr on at the 2nd lesson...then during 1st break time for 1 hr, there is a lot of laughter & topics together with our whole cliques...then studied for PR mock test...alamak, talk more then study lehs...then no tym lerhs, lesson start at 10am, walk up to class, then studied a while, then teacher come in waiting for us to assemble our tables nicely before she can give us the paper to do the test...then do do do, a few question dun knw hw to do, sians...but nbm, at least ii knw where ii am wrong, so that ii can revise again when the real CA come...after that during 2nd AOA lesson, test again lorhs...so do alrdy, the paper damn messy sia...buai tahan lehs...

then finish sch, on the way hm, hweeyee called me, then ask me wan go out a not? ii said uu come my hse here lorhs...then ask me wanna go swim, ii said dun wan, too fat to wear that swim wear costume lehs...then ask me wanna go gym, finally ii think through, can exercise, not too bad, agreed to go...then on my way back home, walking halfway, then it started to rain from drizzle to heavy rain...lols...ii witness everything...LOLS...

then went to meet hweeyee, she called me & we chat, ii keep bluffing my bus come when it haven...lols...is like so funny sia...keep bluffing her that my bus come alrdy when it haven...such as bus come lerhs (what bus) 82 (not to compass point there) wahahas...vvv funny...then said 119 come alrdy (is it far / long) ii said ok luhhs (take lorhs) but it is opposite...LOLS...vvv funny...then ltr ii kanna bluff by her liaos...she reach compass point alrdy, then told me that she forgot to bring her shoes cos she wear slippers, the ii was like so WTF, uu come out to go gym, & uu told me uu forget to bring shoes, ridiculous isn't it, end up she got bring & put in the small bag...LOLs...

we went to gym, hweeyee dun have the patience to go & do those machine workouts lorhs, then she keep jumping the machine...then ii continue to do my run for 20mins, but when ii hit 8 mins, ii accidentally pull the stop thingy, then it started all over again, omg, ji tao sian diao...then started again, run & walk for 13.5mins...buai tahan lerhs...so stop & change to riding bicycle (so called)...20 mins again...the other one was to pull, think can stretch my hand...hahas...so that ii can pass my sit & reach...but we didn't do any warm-up...so be prepared to get whole muscle ache tml...omg...

so overall today ii had enjoyed myself...wahahas...thanks hweeyee!!! :)

o811o9

today when ii went to work, ii was still thinking bout those things about whether to give uu a chance again...end up ii tried and tried again, but ii cant do it, ii am sorry... :( ... then went working, no customer, ii was so bored sia...bored till death due to it is crowd-less...BORING!!!

then during working time, ntg to do, lucky john was working today, we talked alot, but he is damn fickle-minded sia...ii gonna buai ta han him lerhs...then scold him...LOLS!!!then he told me his stuffs & my stuffs...nbm,the content is not impt...

after work, on the way home, ii was so sad, hais, my mind is all about the things we have done together, seeing things together, happy & sad things together, end up, quieting myself continuously till home...chat with hweeyee a while, then he ask me to go down to find him and chat, at first ii think it was ridiculous to do this, but lucky ii go down, if not me and him, will not become kor & mei again...

he waited for 4 hrs for me to end work, end up just to pass me a book of photos & memories which he created for us, our happy memories only, but ii asked him, where is our sad memories then...hais...then he took cab just to come to find me & we met for the last time & said a lot of stuffs...our unhappyness & stuffs that we don't like each other to do...we decided that we will bee kor & mei lerhs...so we broke up & he said that he will be waiting for my return...

hees...thank you for treating me so good & loving me, but we have to stop for a while to prepare our stuffs...

omfg, tml have got a mock test frm chpt 1-3...sian diao...this few days so sad, dun even have the heart to do anything else...but now everything settled lerhs...

Daily routine!!!

today worked again...from now on, ii will try to spend my time to work, so that ii will nt have to be so budgetted!!! a new life start again...ii have think through alrdy....this economic crisis makes me so bloke...ii think ii have to be more hardworking lerhs...need to balanced up my work life, r/s life & sch life...so far its all nt good...

today started worked from 10.30am to 6.30pm...woah seh...quite busy from 10.45am, stock came and needed to put price tags, keep stock in storeroom,  and a cookware nearly dropped on my head...nearly died in the storeroom...LOLS...then it was quite crowded, served a lot of customers, and sold quite a lot...went for a late lunch with him cos partially is because he is sick, wanting to see him & at the same time trying to get back the feeling with him, but ii can only sense that it no longer lingers...went from raffles city to kallang for a lunch with him, then rush back to work again, but late for 10 minutes, nbm, is either auntie never find out, or is she get used to it alrdy...lols...then after that, crowd has lessen lerhs...so slacking at the condola there...so bored...6.30pm off work...& went home!!!

ii dun knw what ii can do, whenever ii think of that incident again, ii would be so sad...hais...anyway, don't talk about that will be better ii think...talk talk talk, add on more saddness only...

Saddness beyond my heart

hais, today will be the 7th day of our pause of r/s...ii kept think, asking, questioning myself & even doubting myself if ii had ever loved uu before?? but ii double check & reconfirmed this doubts a lot of times alrdy, do uu know how much times ii have cried for uu, getting angry & frustrated because of uu...whenever ii think of our happy times, ii really dun knw hw come our r/s came to this stage, its not that ii wanna say stop this r/s & it means really stop, do uu really think that ii am so harsh towards uu?? ii also dun wan to do it too...but there is a lot of times ii can't help it...so ii think ii do love uu...right...


ii am those person that attitudes changed very fast...when ii am serious, why do uu even want to say those lame things to make me shoot uu back... when ii am tired, why do uu have to keep bombarding me with loads of question when ii dun even wanna answer...when ii am sad, uu only know how to say sorry that uu are not by my side to walk through this journey together at that particular time...when ii am angry, uu can add oil to the fire & make me feel more & more angry... do uu think uu are acting funny or cute in front of me...uu dun knw when is the right time to do which actions...this is where ii really dun like...


do uu even understand me at all?? maybe our character & personality is different... ii still wondered why am ii such a failure as a gf...but the more ii think, again & again, ii dun think that ii am a failure...when ii step in to a r/s, ii will go all into it, unless my parents dun approve, if not ii will make sure that ii will make a good gf with uu...but they are ok with uu...uu are the one who can't even give a trust to ur gf...is that what a healthy r/s is called?no right...

uu kept secretly checking on my hp, when ii am bathing, uu checked...when ii am busy doing some housework, uu checked...when we are in chalet, uu checked again...caught uu red-handed & uu still tell me uu didn't... when ii asked uu seriously, caused uu can't be able to lie but to say the truth, uu said: just wanna see who ii contact with... uu go & touch ur heart & think clearly & carefully, from the day ii stead with uu, did ii ever doubt uu before? did ii ever checked on ur hp before??? did uu ever done anything that hurt our r/s before??? and uu even thought that ii time uu just because ur ex does this to uu??? and questioned me on the way ii went to work...since uu start to doubt me, why did uu even have to carry on our r/s???


ii only can say, ii am very disappointed in uu... do uu know how hurt & upset am ii when ii am typing all this out...ii contributed whole-heartedly in this r/s & what did ii get in the end? its a piece of shyt isn't it!!!

did uu ever put urself in my shoes to see what ii have done for uu...it is not about those financial matters, its about the thought that counts...ii sacrificed my work days for uu, from 2 weekends per week, becomes to 1 weekend per week...like that see is like ntg, but ii have lost almost $200/mth, somemore uu should know my financial problems...ii need to pay my expenses all by myself...ii saved & tried to buy things for uu...but eventually, uu spend all ur money helping me pay bills,presents, foods during the start of the month & when it is the end of the month, ii will be paying everything, even lending money to __... uu said uu wanna help me share all these & walk through all this together, but ii felt that uu didn't...


ii asked uu to save money not to come from ur hse to fetch me to work & go back hm...but uu didn't listen & said, we don't have a lot of time every week...so uu must send me to work, but when uu come & go home is almost $2 or even more...than my break time uu come again, around another $2 is gone again, then at night, to our destination and go back home, around another $2 gone again...1 day $6+...8 days $48+...somehow ii really dun knw why, ii told uu to save money, but uu wouldn't listen, we are so bloke & yet uu still can't think...hais...


whenever we go out on sat, ur dad will be so unhappy, why ur gf so impt than him a 19+yrs daddy lerhs lehs...ii knw he is sad, thats why that tym he said it at ur hse...ii can sense his angryness & disappointment...cos my dad is unhappy too before when ii was with another person...whenever on sun, ii accompany uu back to cck when ii am staying ad hougang...the tiredness & the distance to cck & back to hougang is like so far away...somemore, ii have worked for the whole day & its very tiring, do uu know...hais...



nvm barhs...ii can only know that ii have alrdy contributed my best in this r/s giving uu all the trust that should be given, w/o doubting & questioning..so thats all ii have to say for our r/s...hais...ii really don't know what ii should do...