1oo212

ii am so temperament recently! :(

is it because ii am feeling stressed up due to project?

ii have been moodless in doing anything :( hais

o9o212, 5.30 - 7.30pm, ii have got my economics final exam, think ii am so gonna flung it. :( even though i have been studying real hard for it this few days. hais! :(

1oo212, nv study at all :( went brunch with daddy & mummy, then came home to change my 10 hamster cages, took almost 2hrs. then watch tv, paint nails, and went out to meet him. but my mood kept changing :( sometimes good, irritated, bad, quiet :(

went to Pomo Shopping Centre- Come eat, found a real nice shop, which sells bubble tea,ii bought "pudding chocolate" $3.60 for the large cup, its really nice :D the taste really taste like the one i drank in Xiamen :D nw everytime i pass by there, i will go and buy :D yeah :) happy ttm!

what shld i do?

talking to him about religion factors really hurts! hais :(

idk what to say to him. dk what i shld do now. maybe i shld just consider another route/solution, since the current ones couldn't work.

just nw we chat, talked about some stuffs, made me so fedup.. today i hang up on him twice le. think something is gonna to be so wrong. end? continue? remains? both parties will be hurt eventually, just because of my selfish thoughts, but i just need to have it!!!!! if only u will give in, but i knw u cant... :'(


Source: http://favim.com/image/250379/

sians, why is growing up so tough?


Source: http://dogs.icanhascheezburger.com/tag/disappointed/

temptation sucks!

exams are coming le :( 

scheduled on:

• o9o212 - Economics Exam (20%), 5.30-7.30pm
• 16o212 - Principles of Marketing Exam (50%), 2.30-4.30pm
• 2oo212 - Finance of International Trade  Exam (50%), 9-11am
• 21o212 - Accounting Application & Analysis (50%), 2.30-4.30pm
• 23o212 - Service Management Exam (50%), 9-11am

After 23rd February 2o12, its the end of my year 2, even though i felt happy, but also sad at the same time, cos idk will fail the exams a not, its damn hard lo :( recently emo-ing, dun feel like doing anything, slacking the whole day, when the thought of reading books, it just sucks biggggggg time :( and read econs, even worse, can straight away slp.

after exams, its holiday obviously, but i have no job. Thinking of going back to the promoter's job, its not a sales period, so there wun be any open positions i guess, like maybe work twice to thrice per week :( USS? also same ba, the situation there very tense :( dun really like there :( hais! i nd a new part time job :( can i have any? :(

Tempting to buy a lot of things, after that day i used KoonKiat's DSLR camera, which can take countless of photos unlike those which can only take till a certain lifespan, i really felt like buying the camera. its really damn cool! can take beautiful pictures and even people!!! but the price is almost like the price of a laptop. so i guess i can only purchased it in the future. which is like 1.5yrs more :( sians!

dear told me to borrow from friends and see whether i will use it, but i scare i might spoil it. kk say wanna lend me, i also scare i might spoil it. Spoiling my items is better than spoiling others items! 

I also wan to get a guinea pig! :( 

why is my temptation so much? fml! the feeling of wanting but not able to get it sucks big time :(

blogging

omg! its gonna be a year soon since my last dated post & i am back to update.

seriously, throughout this whole year, i have been getting along badly! >.< studies? work? relationships? families?

Studies first
really lazy to study! diploma plus? wth! damn bored! ii just kept feeling to drop this module since i am not able to get in to university!

but i am really happy that i got in to the Overseas Immersion Programme (OIP) Xiamen for 5 weeks, duration of 35 days from 5 Sept to 9 Oct 2011. It has been a tough trip there, cos of loads of assignments to do. but some ppl makes the trip so sucky! hais! life sucks no matter where i am.

After coming back, i have got financial problems! damn! when i left to Xiamen, spend a lot, after i came back to Sg, payment for sch fees, another hefty sum of money! felt like going to work, but it just seems that its so hard for me to go find a job. then sch work are so busy & tiring. Projects this semester are always done last minute, making my life so tiring! hais! ii am just so tired of doing last minute work. Of cos, some ppl prefer to do last minute work and claim all those credits, but the thing is, did they do those beforehand stuffs to prepare for the finals.

Family second
After returning from the 35days of trip, family conditions & bondings doesnt seems to get any better, but even worser. of cos, it should not be revealed. nvm, it shall be kept deep in my heart!

some frustrations will help!

Financing third
ii am just so tired! r/s? work? family? everything is not going well! hais! ii am in nd for finance! but no job suitable :( payment for sch fees, insurance, handphone bill! how great to be in this type of feelings.

today! i totally declare that my ATM card is not gonna be with me! so i can restrict spending too! guess its gonna be a gd idea for savings. hope i dun spend too much!

Working as promoter is really a no-no! my leg is aching like damn painful! hais!
Working at USS is also nono, the feeling there is super tense, so different from the past when i just got in.
i really experienced and seen a lot of people from all walks of life, it just sucks to see how people are like this, and i felt disgusted! hais!

Relationships fourth
Sometimes i just feel like i am a flirt! i kept changing bf! but who knows the reasons why i kept changing?
i knw i couldnt get a bf who is willing to convert to same as me "Vegetarian", therefore, what others wants to say, just let them do it. Even though a guy treats me damn good, but if he cant satisfy this, i also cannot be with him i guess. I knw i am selfish, but i cannot change my mindset, cos i believe in mine, and of cos, he believe in his! so who knows what my future will be like :( i guess my plight will be like this

reference/source: http://welovestyles.com/good-quotes-for-love-to-live-by/
Was with Ryan since 2nd Dec 2011, how long could i last with him? will it be long or short? our religion  crash again! sians ttm! today marks the 2mths anniversary, but we wun be meeting cos i have to study! postponed to tml. my dad seems not to like him. awww! die liaos

My wants are the last!
ii have a lot of wants! but not able to satisfy them! ii hate myself! FML! but this wants are not needs! i can only desire to have but not able to have it!

DSLR? Havaianas? all are such high expenses! just dream of it ok! stupid carolyn! damn u! ass!

Overall posting, life just sucks!

holidays period

my whole holiday was spent working at USS, thats a damn cool place that ii ever worked before...ii love the environment, the ppl but nt really irritating guests...and work at Robinsons and Tangs as well...as usual, its a boring place, but than, ii have no choice, have to work and earn money...sians sians sians...

days of holiday pass so fast...it just seems that a month is over alrdy...there is gd news from sch - results, enrollment to diploma plus program and perfect timetable for sem 3...grats to me...but my days of holidays has nt been that happy...hais...lots of things happen...ii also dun knw what ii really wan...this sem 3 will be a very busy period for me...ii suppose its bad!

treasure and cherish those impt person around uu...but for me, ii cant feel that...nvm...things is hard to continue saying...long story...ii only love emo songs...thats awesome, and ii will reflect on a lot of things that happen...humans are weird, when uu gt a problem, another tries to help uu solve it fully, they think that its so damn easy for them to say, but when it comes to action, its different...its easier said than done...so when that person has gt problem, uu try to help him/her solve, they think that its redundant, as ii am in no position to do that...so what can ii say? win liaos lorhs...hais!

left 1week and 3days before sch reopen, so no one to go out & ii am damn busy! hais!ntg to do, say or done! emptiness is the only thing...

14o111

its friday again, had a super hard weekdays, all schooling days are packed with projects, tutorials & lectures, and peer tutoring somemore without enough slp daily, ranging frm 3hrs to 5.5hrs each day till nw...so shag sia...

monday went to meet him, something happen, than emo all the way...

tues, 9-7, than met him at NEX, bought a spec and ate pizza hut...

wed, schooling till 5, went to someplace to get something...reach hm around 8.30...chiong project, researching for articles and read miec for thurs tutorial...slept at 3.11am

thurs, 9-7 again...than went hm and slack....watch tv and eat...omfg!

fri, 8-12, lucky no tennis make up lesson, shiok...but damn sians, never start reading on anything yet... :(

obse test is coming on next tues, and ii haven write my notes :( hais...no mood, think ii am missing something frm my daily routine...sians...he is outside, went to someplace, normally this tym is cam tym, and nw, dun have, ii seems to have lost something...ii felt lonely & sians nw... :(

researching for something, and found this website! omg! http://www.funnzie-cam.com/instant.html & http://instaxlovers.blogspot.com/
 polaroid camera is cool, but will ii be wasting money if ii buy it? film is exp lorhs...arghh! the mickey film damn nice...omg!

blogshop that sells super duper nice accessories...
http://smoothysilk.blogspot.com/

o9o111

this few days damn sians, a lot of shocking news that idk it shld be a gd news or a bad news that ii shldn't be hearing...hais...frm this and that...having a very confused mindset...actually it has alrdy been set to be a final decision, just that, ii just felt bad towards some of them...ii really dun knw what ii shall do...ii let go, but they didn't...ii always feel awkward to them, dun knw hw to face them....its like, confusing :( hais...

sch really sucks, once ii go back to sch, they said there is 2 test coming, first is obse on 18th, second is statistic test 2 on the 19th...but gd news is that ii didnt fail any of my common test module, thats the most lucky thing...phew...the worse is actually miec, waited till thurs, saw my results, ii was over the moon, as long as ii didnt fail any, hehes...overall still quite ok...hahas!!!! 

my skin complexion sucks sia...pimples, dark eye circles, not enough slp...and ii just realized that my cough havent really healed fully, this sucks ttm... :( ppl say that rest more is to be able to walk through a further route, yes ii agree, but tym dun permit... :( 

so bored, did ii make the wrong decision? did ii do wrong frm the start? did he said the truth? am ii very bad? maybe ii am, ii just cared about myself, yes? yes? ii think it is...

withdrawing frm uu all, this is better? ii avoid uu, uu say ii dun wan to be friend...ii close to uu, leading uu to have the wrong impression...what shld ii really do? ii am really confused!!!

what uu see in front doesnt mean that its the truth! wrong perception! are uu able to understand a nt? uu say uu do, but ii dun think so...ii hate myself!